Panthers master coach Ivan Cleary has made a brave admission, revealing his battle with mental health throughout his career at the helm of NRL clubs.
Penrith have won four-straight premierships and are now in the conversation as rugby league’s greatest ever team, but it hasn’t always been smooth sailing for Cleary.
He recalled wanting to remain in bed only two months into his fresh five-year contract to coach the Panthers in 2019, saying: “I actually started taking antidepressants”.
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Penrith had won only two of their first 10 games that season, and Cleary explained that he felt he’d hit rock bottom, speaking to The Daily Telegraph.
“That was extremely hard for me at that time in my life,’’ Cleary said.
“I was in the first year of a five-year contract. I honestly didn’t feel like I was the right man for the job, which was a lot to deal with because of how much I wanted to come back and how much it felt right.
“If we didn’t succeed in 2020, I was going to give it away.
“At the time, I would have (walked away from the game). I don’t know where I would have gone next, I really wasn’t worrying about the future.’’
Cleary revealed he spoke to his wife Bec, his brother and professionals about his mental health, which helped him to manage his depression.
In turn, Cleary has urged others to speak openly about their own mental health, hoping to remove the stigma surrounding it.
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“The thing about men is, we just don’t talk about depression. You feel like you’re a failure if you do,” he said.
“And you know, there’s this thing that you’ve got to be strong enough to be able to carry the can and get through it.
“Often just talking about it actually helps, you realise that other people are going through it and, and that can sometimes just give you the kick along to keep going.
“It’s just something I think we all need to talk more about. I wasn’t keen (to discuss this) because it is obviously very private and personal, but it’s so relevant to so many people.
“We’re starting to talk about it more, and I think that’s important. I was struggling big time.’’
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